Peanuts and Providers

Jarret just vacuumed peanuts out of a nearly unreachable corner in the library nook, a stash which I had fully known about for a week and which had depressed me so much (“What in the world possesses you to pour out the parts of your trail mix that you don’t like into random corners?!?”) that I had promptly left and tried not to think about how hard it would be to fit my wrist and vacuum attachment in there in order to clean it up. Durned kids.

This is awesome in so many ways, especially considering the past few weeks since we found out about our pregnancy.

You see, I immediately began reminding Jarret how it was going to go: I was going to be sick, grouchy, withdrawn, miserable, cravey, and the house was going to be a wreck. I told him how much I’d love it if he’d take over with the kids and set up a chore schedule and help keep them accountable and stock up on easy meals for us all to grab.

Unfortunately, this flood of information hit him like a ton of bricks, and he had that deer in the headlights look and he was completely overwhelmed, thinking of his all-consuming job and other responsibilities and having to add to them. Of course, he still swung into action, doing dishes without me asking and stuff, but his heart wasn’t into it at all.

I was kind of annoyed, because I felt like I wasn’t asking him to do all the work, just kind of take over leadership of the household for a while. We were sort of at cross purposes, with me feeling uncared for and him feeling nagged.

Such a great place to be.

Then I read this post.

When she reached the point where she felt the Lord asking her, “Who’s your provider?” the phrase hit me like a convicting ton of bricks. Here I was, trying to rely on Jarret to get me through this rough patch, when it’s the Lord who is my provider and strength.

My heart immediately changed and I regretted all my words and expectations and I told him about this heart change a few days later when I was sure I wouldn’t cry.

What’s so cool is, when the pressure is off, he’s doing crazy things like getting the girls to clean their room and making the boys do their bathroom jobs. And those peanuts! They’re gone! Hallelujah!

Plus, I’m still feeling okay, with only mild nausea and a backache from quitting coffee, mostly, because it’s kind of gross right now, and so when the household is humming with action, I feel motivated to join in and clean the living room with Shiloh Rising going in the background. So far, so good! If this sickness keeps on being mild, and if it’s not a harbinger of anything sad, I have some suggestions for how to help morning sickness! Wouldn’t that be a miracle!?! I am only six weeks and one day, though. I can’t start counting my chickens quite yet.


3 thoughts on “Peanuts and Providers

  1. Glad to hear you’re still doing well! Husbands are so awesome. Dan moved our fridge the other day to get some stuff that had fallen between it and the counter-and found another one of Juju’s stashes (with MOLDY CHEESE! Not sure if she put that there or if it just fell and got shoved under) It was something I couldn’t bring myself to do on my own, so thank goodness for our men for these unpleasant tasks!!

  2. Kenj, after reading your last weeks of posts I felt strong enough to show my real self on my blog…I try to keep positive and use my blog for the joyful things in my life but today I needed the encouragement your blog gives to just be real, so Thanks!

    1. I was so encouraged by your kind words yesterday. There’s something about an “older” woman telling you you’re doing an OK job that makes life nicer! I’m glad you were inspired. I seriously have found that every single time, a burden shared is a burden lessened. People would never guess you were struggling otherwise. Thought of you an prayed last night. :)

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